Today Bread, Tomorrow Secrets (After-Show Supper Edition)

THEATRELAND TAKES SHAPE

by Prunella Branches

Mr Alfred Crake’s production of Today Bread, Tomorrow Secrets is a theatrical event of exceptional interest, and opens up a new chapter in the varied and often unusual career of the Clinkskell Playhouse. Originally built as England’s largest Planetarium / cakeshop, the Playhouse has, during many years, established a unique reputation for the presentment of all that is best in the Variety World of the day. And now it has turned into a theatre once again, taking its place in the Theatrical instead of the specialist columns of the Newspaper advertisements.

In the course of a delightful luncheon with JANUS MALLARD, the author, and FRINGILLA COLE, the Composer, I learned something of the origin of Today Bread, Tomorrow Secrets, which is entirely charming, and not, as is the case with so many modern productions, based on an undernourished plot. Over an appetising starter, Mr Mallard loudly proclaimed that the public, tired for the present of Coherence, were ready for an ‘exuberant story, extravagantly played!’ and gesticulating further, waxed ‘They will murmurate in droves to witness such capering!’ Mrs Cole, by the way, is now world-famous as the Composer of the “Grin-Grim-Chew” Trepadatious Toffee Music.

We are fortunate also in having a hero in Mr MINK GAGPIE, who was recently described by the Lovely Day as ‘a majestic performer’. I am not in the habit of quoting the Lovely Day, bit in this instance they seem to have hit the nail on the head with a remarkable degree of accuracy. In ‘Biding Time’ and, quite recently, in ‘Tiding Nicely’, he has shown his extraordinary capacity for claiming hearts both swiftly and tenderly in the very same instant, and this, I am so told, is the preferred method.

Fame is a strange and uncanny jade. Dame GRENADILLA FIPPLE, when taking up her part and preparing for rehearsals, had her dresser come round to the Playhouse, where she was duly challenged by the stage door. “Who do you want?” clucked the custodian. “Dame Fipple, Dame Grenadilla Fipple,” purred the lady. The official was quite startled, and remains in the lobby to this day, a curious monument to spontaneous petrification.

Miss BESTY ‘WHOOPER’ BEWICK has never before danced in a musical, neither has she sung a song, and she whispered to me, so please keep the secret, that she hopes never to have to sing another. However we shall see. She has an enormous following, and it seems to me that if theatres were advertised on commercial lines, like cakes, you would simply have to announce some such phrase as ‘Witness WHOOPER redefine pre-dining deportment’ on available empty spaces on order to keep the Playhouse crowded indefinitely.

With playgoers mustering nightly to the Playhouse to witness Today Bread, Tomorrow Secrets, my theatrical friends have been heartily rewarded. A little bird told me that after witnessing a performance you’ll be quite transported away; but this is another secret. However you can be assured that this is a rare gem, a dreamy banquet for the soul, where you can taste a strange newness in the world of theatrical entertainment.